The Afterlife
by Define Gravity
Summary: "You're a part of my dream!", she said through a hiss angrily, her heart pumping in her chest. "Just like this whole world, just like every single person here, including Loki! This is just my dream!" "No, you don't understand", he exclaimed. "This is not a dream anymore." "Then what?", she barked. "You're dead", he said trough a whisper. "This is your afterlife."
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"So, what happened this week?"

"Nothing."

Sigh. "Come on, Lorraine, you keep on telling me the same story for two years now."

She wasn't into this, no. To be honest, she hated doctors. Their presence made her nervous and scared and yet she kept on seeing this one. He wasn't anything special - he had watery, small eyes hiding under silver bushy eyebrows. He was overweight sixty year old man in a nice suit along with expensive tie. His hair was short and white as snow, splashed with dark here and there, just like his short beard. Wrinkles were around his eyes and on his wide, smart forehead. He looked like her grandfather.

"Well", she started quietly, putting a wisp of her straight dark brown hair behind her ear, "we have this one project..." Her blue eyes met his and she crushed her bottom lip, now putting her hands on her knees. She inhaled and exhaled. She just wasn't feeling good around doctors of any kind.

"Let's get from the start, shall we?", doctor Flag said, his deep voice grumbling just like always. His eyes looked up at her and she managed to crack a shy smile in embarrassment, revealing a charming gap between her two front teeth. It quickly disappeared, though. "How was your week?"

Lorraine shrugged. "Same as always, I guess", she replied with a slight frown. "I passed those tests I studied hard for and..." maybe she shouldn't mention it. After all, all they did was laugh and call her weird. Not that she couldn't defend herself, she was just bothered: why do they _always _have to pick on the quiet ones? "Some people from my class took my notebook today."

The doctor wrote something down at his few sheets of paper. "Uh-huh, I see", he murmured. He glanced back up at her. "And how did you react?"

"I managed to tell them to get it back", she replied without emotions. Those were her poems, not something to joke around with. Words written there came from the depths of her heart, mirroring her emotions perfectly, just like nothing else could. She swallowed and decided to continue since Flag never looked away. "And of course, they read it. It was obvious it was a romantic poem, but they couldn't actually see about who", she added quickly and looked at the floor.

She heard when the pen stopped going over the paper. "It was about Loki, wasn't it?"

Blushing deeply, Lorraine managed to pull her shoulders closer to her chest, gripping her knees tighter. She wished she could disappear. It wasn't a bad thing, doctor Flag told her that when she first told him (she almost cried). That was only her way to find peace and comfort after that stressful period. Many people do so, and she wasn't the only one. That made her slightly better, but she couldn't shake it off. She saw the way he looked at her and she could imagine how he told his wife or his colleagues about a girl that was in love with a fictional character. And they'd all laugh at her. It always made her palms to clench into fists.

The leather chair sighed with relief when doctor Flag got out of it. "Come, I want to show you something."

Getting up, she did her best to take her bag wit her. They left his small office and headed down the hallway in apricot color. She couldn't stand that color. The carpet was a horrible shade of brown, reminding her of mud. Few plants were here and there, some of them barely even alive. Questioning if he was going to take her somewhere else made her scared. She wasn't really comfortable being alone with men, not since what happened. To be polite, she continued being silent and looked up at the man when he cleared his throat.

"You see, Lorraine, I've been interested in science ever since I could walk. My father thought it would be good if I become a doctor and I did that just to satisfy him. I never stopped working along with silence, you know. Always projects, always testing, always something to keep me busy..."

He was always open with her, maybe even too much for her taste. She surely reminded him of his granddaughter. Or it was something of other matter...she cringed with that thought and quickly pushed it away, disgusted.

"...and so, considering that many people would like to get away from reality we live in, me and my friends - all of them crazy and committed enough to do something like that - created a machine", he looked down at her to see if she was listening. When he was sure, he smirked. He didn't speak until they reached the elevator. As soon as the door closed behind them, he continued, "It's not just an ordinary machine. It's the one that can transport one to universe by will."

Blinking couple of times, she raised a brow. "Isn't that a little bit of too science fiction-ish?" She didn't believe a word he was saying. It was obviously a lie. That maybe was possible, but it would take a lot of time for something like that.

Doctor Flag nodded and pursed his bottom lip. "Yes, it is. You don't believe me?"

"No", she almost whispered.

That made him smirk. Another hallway with those horrible walls and disgusting carpet. Lorraine wondered who was designing these places. They entered into another office, but this was rather big. Gray, monotone sky was painted on the walls splashed with large raindrops. There was a woman with short red hair sitting at the computer, and she looked up immediately. Her eyes were the same shade as whiskey.

"Miss. Sean", doctor Flag said and Lorraine heard a smile in his voice. The woman smiled back - she couldn't be older than twenty five. "Can you please help us out with the project?"

Miss. Sean knit her perfect eyebrows together. "Sir, you mean..."

He nodded. "Yes, Miss. Sean, _the _project."

Lorraine saw how the woman glanced at her quickly, but long enough to notice every line of Lorraine's body. Now she was glad she wore a plaid shirt. It made her thinner. Miss. Sean nodded and left through the door they entered. Two of them followed her to the elevator. Button of the fourteenth floor lightened up as soon as Miss. Sean pressed it. Slightly confused and even more excited and also scared, Lorraine looked at her psychiatrist with worry on her pale face.

Glancing back down at her, he smirked kindly. "You still don't believe me?"

She was starting to. "No", she replied quietly.

The smirk never left his face. "It took us many years to finally finish that project. And when we did, we were happy. What we only need is someone to test it."

"So, me?", she asked even though she knew it was her. The look on his face was saying everything. That thought seemed terrifying. It invaded her brain and spread through her body like poison, so she could only exhale and again crush her lip. She pulled down longs sleeves of her shirt. This was pure nonsense. Something like that wasn't possible. If it was, everyone would build a machine like that already. Maybe it was something he imagined, one of his places to escape like she had poetry. Maybe Miss. Sean played along, but she showed no signs that this was all just a pretend.

What if it was real? What if it was completely real? What if she actually could meet somebody? What if she could meet Loki? Her stomach twirled just like every time she'd thing of him. Possibilities were great. She could also meet the Avengers, and many other people of Marvel. She could meet Natasha. Peter Parker. Deadpool. For a moment, euphoria filled her entire body, shaking it slightly. She forced herself to breathe steadily and deeply. She looked up at the old man with a serious face.

"I'll do it."

Grin danced on his lips and he exhaled, lifting his chin up like he was thanking somebody. When they reached the fourteenth floor, Lorraine was still trying to keep her euphoria under control. She only managed to wide her eyes as the elevator door opened. It was a dark room - dark, heavy curtain were covering wide windows, oddly looking machines were against the wall. Wires and wires were spreading over naked cement floor, all plugged into something with the same size as a suitcase. Next to it was something that looked like bed. It all smelled like oil, stiffed air and dust.

"Here", doctor Flag said and lead her to bed. Lorraine swallowed, now not so sure about all of this. She though it was all just a joke, that they were messing with her, but now...almost unwillingly, she putted her light brown bag with books from school on the ground next to bed. Once again she crushed her lips. Tightly holding the edges of her sleeves, she sat down. When doctor Flag told her to lay down, she froze, but did as told. It was rather uncomfortable and she swallowed hard, noticing that Miss. Sean was now touching one part of the wall that suddenly turned blue. It took her a moment to realize it actually was the _screen. _

"Will it hurt?", Lorraine asked, trying to make her voice strong, but failed.

"No", the doctor replied and put something on her temples. Then he looked in her eyes. "You can give up if you want to."

"No", she said harsher than she meant. She was still stiffed like a stick. "I want to do this, trust me." She was scared, but she wouldn't admit it. She tried to hide it.

"Here", the doctor said and gave her something she only saw in movies. She took it and then he wrapped something around her wrist. It was slightly itching. "That'll measure your heart beat and your pressure. You can put it on your chest. And this", he pointed at the white ribbon around her wrist, "will help you to get to your place." She nodded slightly confused and pressed the thing against her chest, glad that he didn't do it. When she laid down again, she could only hear the clicking. "This works like a dream. If something happens to you and you die, you'll wake up. If you don't die, then we'll wake you up."

She blinked and swallowed again, trying to make her throat less sore. "How?"

"With water", he simply replied. "Now, if you need some instructions, you have to find a woman called Andromeda Galaxy. In this case, she'll be at SHIELD's base. She'll tell you everything you need to know." He was again typing something she couldn't see, so she managed to sigh again. She glanced back at the blue screen on the wall (it looked like something from the Iron man movie) and did her best to not open her mouth in surprise.

"So, I guess that Thor will suit you-"

"No", she said. All of this was a complete nonsense, stupid and idiotic. Why was she lying there? Why was she even doing that? She should be at home, studying! "The Avengers."

He kept his glance on her for a moment. "Alright, then", he replied and nodded. It was obviously a sigh for Miss. Sean to do something. "Now just relax. You're safe here, I promise. You have an hour."

Closing her eyes gently, Lorraine wondered how was she supposed to relax. She couldn't do that even at home. She frowned slightly and did a series of breathing. It relaxed her kind of and she simply let her mind float. This was all stupid, and yet there she was, lying on some sort of uncomfortable bed with things attached to her head and chest, willingly waiting for an experiment to come to life, which it won't. Stupid. Why was she still there?

She again inhaled and exhaled, relaxing completely. Before she knew it, she was already asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

There was a hole in the sky. Lorraine continued watching it for a moment, dully lying on the ground. Something was coming from the hole, it reminded her of wasps angrily flying from their hive to sting anyone who dared disturbing them. Sudden screams finally reached her ears. She got up from the dusty ground just to see people running beside her, no one bothering to even look up at her. Panic raised in her as people continued running. Breath got stuck in her throat. Could it be?

Without hesitation, she started running in the opposite direction. She pushed people away as hard as she could and moved them out of her way. A car was on her way, but she slid over hood and just kept on running. Doctor Flag's voice rang in her ears: _you have only one hour. _A hour. She had to use those sixty minutes to see, to make sure that all of this was real for now, that it was actually possible.

Sudden burst of heat and noise next to her made her to instinctively bow down, but keep on running. She turned around, breathing heavily and saw a car in flames. A smirk she couldn't suppress appeared on her lips. Excitement rose in her stomach, gripping her heart and lungs, making it hard to breathe. Right around the corner she stopped. Ugly creatures that looked like bodies in the first stage of decomposition, with some sort of helmets on their heads, were shooting at people, killing them. The scene froze her for a moment, letting her only to breathe.

A grin flashed over her features. The Chitauri. Yes, this was it. _This was it. _She couldn't believe that all of this was actually there, that she was _there. _A world not available to her, not to any other human being before, but now it was possible. It was real as much as her world. Cars flipped on roof seemed real, fire seemed real, hideous monsters with odd weapon human technology couldn't even imagine seemedperfectly real. She was finally there. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Her eyes widened as the creatures turned around and saw her.

Her mind wasn't focusing on the blue light that was missing her only by inches. She thought only of where she was. Lungs could barely suck the air, but they seemed to not mind when she started running again. The pain in legs she felt just few minutes (or seconds) ago seemed to disappear, just like the stabbing in ribs. Eyes were wide while trying to see every detail of the battle for New York, but common sense was too much occupied of keeping her alive.

Something large was flying just above her so she looked up, widening her eyes at the giant monster ship that gracefully moved around the buildings, hiding the sun. She grinned and ran faster, seeking for more evidences like seeing the alien army wasn't enough. In any other occasion she would stop running after less than thirty seconds, but this was a special opportunity. She pushed her limits as hard as possible, and stopped as she saw a man with the infamous shield looking up in the skies at the spy that managed to get on small flying ship.

Not even aware, she stopped and stared at him with half opened mouth, breathing heavily as few drops of sweat slipped from her forehead. Her heart was hurting her like it wanted to get out of her chest. Her mouth turned dry and mind went completely blank. He stood only fifty feet away from her, real as much as she was. Like he sensed someone watching him, he turned his head towards her and their eyes met for a moment.

Then her head cracked when a ray of blue blast hit her.

Scream escaped her lips as she opened her eyes again. Pair of hands clenched her shoulder and tried to push her back furiously, but she kept on screaming. Somebody was yelling too. She tried to push those hands away, but they were too strong. Something in her mind clicked and everything turned back. The screams from her throat were croaks and something inhuman like; she was calling for help. In self defense she started kicking and scratching and biting, still screaming like somebody was ripping the skin from her back, but stopped few seconds after she was pushed back with a big palm over her mouth. Scared watery eyes of doctor Flag met hers. "It's alright, Lorraine", he said trying to cover the shaking of his voice, but failed. "You're alright, you're safe."

Sharp breathing was coming from her nose as she continued staring at him with wide eyes. It took her brain a second to realize where she was and what was happening. She nodded quickly. Doctor Flag slowly removed his hand. Lorraine quickly rushed for her bag since she was choking - a strong hand was squeezing her lungs. She though she'll faint. As soon as she took the inhaler, everything was better. She was okay again, so she closed her eyes with relief. Warm tears were streaming down her now pink cheeks. Lorraine was left like that for few moments before she managed to put her legs over the uncomfortable bed. She stared at her outwear sneakers, feeling heart pounding rapidly and her hands shaking. Quickly, she wiped the tears away with her hands and sniffed slightly. "Sorry", she managed to murmur, embarrassed.

"It's alright", the doctor said quietly. Lorraine could feel presence of Mrs. Sean somewhere in the corner. "How was it like?" She noticed he skipped 'you died' part. That was good, she didn't want to think about it. She brought the inhaler back to her lips.

After short pause she spoke up to break the tension. "It was real", her voice was hoarse from screaming. "It was like...it was completely real, just like this. I felt I was really there, like everything around me was completely real." She licked her dry lips. "How longs was I out?"

"Six and a half minutes", he replied. What, only six minutes? It seemed much longer. "What did you see?" He was excited - she could hear his voice trembling slightly and his eyes wide of expectation as she tilted her head to glance at him. She wiped sweat from her forehead.

"The monsters", she replied through a murmur. "I saw New York in ruins, those creatures with space guns all around the place...I saw Steve Rogers."

"D-Did he see you? Did you t-talk to him?", he questioned impatiently. Lorraine rubbed her eyes and pulled her sleeves down again, letting out a sigh. She was still scared. Her mind kept on replaying the scenes from that night, but she did her best to make them go away. That was past. She had to concentrate on this, on the present.

"He saw me, and then he saw me getting killed", she replied through a whisper. Suddenly, she got up and grabbed the bag from the floor. She avoided looking him in the eyes. "Look, it's late, my parents will be worried, I have to go now, alright."

"But it worked, right?", doctor Flag questioned with face full of hope.

Lorraine managed to only look at his wrinkled face and gulp. Tears started forming in her eyes. "_Oui_", she replied simply. "But I'm not going back."

Her room wasn't like it used to be in France. Bordeaux was much more interesting than Atlanta. She missed that one stupid picture of some meadow on her wall, she missed those dumb pink walls with posters of horses all around. She missed her petite bed and her window that looked on the small street where people passed by. She missed the smell of baguettes and _creme brulee,_ she missed her childhood. Now she had nothing. All of her friends were back in France and she could only contact them over social networks. It wasn't the same. First they talked every day for more than five hours. Then it turned on two days, then a week, then three weeks. Now she barely even talks to them. It was sad of how their paths separated so quickly. Even sadder was the reason that made them separate.

Instead of doing her homework, Lorraine was sitting on the floor and listening to music from her laptop. Deep in her thoughts, she didn't notice when the rain started hitting the glass of windows.

What she lived that day was, with one word, strange. She couldn't imagine that something like that could be real. Such sort of a machine was supposed to be real only in science fiction. But there she was sitting on the floor, thinking of how an alien blew her head. Shivering, she knit her eyebrows together and pushed the though of death away from her as far as possible. She did something remarkable that day - she was the first one to use the machine to actually get to know how it was like living a virtual life. It was so simple, yet so complicated. Doctor Flag worked very hard with his friends to make such thing possible. But she had to admit that it was nice at the beginning, and then terrifying.

They just killed her, like she was nothing. That wasn't important now she wasn't _actually _dead.

She got to see something that possibly nobody ever will. She managed to get into Marvel universe without any problem, trough a simple dream. She could never guess that one of her greatest wishes would come true by a dream. Now it seemed stupid that she said she'd never do that again. It was a decision she made in a moment, without thinking, without any common sense. It was because of panic. Something like that was dangerous, yes, especially because of asthma. But she couldn't really die in reality, right? All of that was just a projection, a _dream. _She couldn't really die in a dream.

Lorraine thought about going back and apologizing to doctor Flag and his assistant. Yes, she'll do that. Maybe.

For days she thought about it. She measured pros and cons again and again and again, over and over again. Worry would overwhelm her whenever she thought about that, but curiosity was there, and her bravery too.

Why shouldn't she try that again?

But if she gets another asthma problem...

So what? It's not the end of the world! She has the inhaler! And it's not that big of a problem!

What if something goes wrong?

What could go wrong? It's a dream! Besides, she really wanted to meet Loki, if that was even possible...

But asthma...

After nine days of constant thinking and measuring pros and cons, Lorraine decided to go and now she decided she'll last much longer than six and a half minutes.


End file.
